I cried today.
This may not seem like an important event to a lot of people, but I almost thought that I was incapable of doing it it's been so long. Crying
used to be a weekly cleansing sort of thing for me, but ever since my father died (see: May 30, 2001
), I haven't cried nearly as often. I've had many theories on the subject, one of them that when I lost my dad, I cried so much that I used up the supply
of tears. Someone suggested this to me a while ago, and I think it really makes sense: That when my dad died, it was something real and traumatic, and that nothing else that I used to cry about or want to cry about now can match that level of sadness. I did used to cry about a lot of self-indulgent, self-pitying kinds of things, and I can't cry about those things anymore. But I cried today when I was writing about my dad.
Song I'm listening to and wanting to cry about lately (this was before I actually cried about something else): "All or Nothing" by the manufactured-on-national-television Boy Band, O-Town. I've always considered it a bad thing when your emotions are expressed perfectly by shitty pop songs.