I find myself wishing that I was a different person. Someone less sensitive, someone who could let things just roll off their back. Someone less weak, who could stand up for herself when she needed to, when she's needed to for months now. Someone less open, less honest, I've never understood why boundaries existed between people, why we have to hide things. Someone less prone to obsession, less prone to reflection.

I want to want less, think less, love less, cry less. Less of everything...

Tonight, secret of mine may come out. I don't want it to, I don't want to shatter an illusion of invulnerability I've tried to create in protection: I don't love, I don't hurt, nothing touches me.

There is no kevlar for the heart, there are no drugs that can mend a soul.