I was watching myself from outside my own body
, but it wasn't even my body. I was a completely different person, I was a prostitute
with long dark hair, tall, thin. But the feelings and thoughts of this girl
I see myself wearing a beautiful dress, of undulating green and gold, a fabric and pattern which could never exist in reality. I am the most beautiful girl in the world, but it's not enough.
I was in love with one of my clients, he was not in love with me. This made me incredibly sad, and it didn't help matters that my roommate (not my actual roommate, but a very rotund 'madame' who I shared a gigantic bed in the mansion/brothel with) was very close to him. He would call her up and talk to her, asking for her advice and whatnot, while I would lay on the other side of the bed, imagine what my love was saying on the other end, and do nothing but want.