This dream was unusual because it happened to prominently feature zombies(!). Zombies aren't really something that I think about on a daily basis, I don't think I've ever really even watched a zombie movie as a matter of fact, but nevertheless, I find myself trying to write a breakup letter to my boyfriend because I found out that his dad is a zombie...

Instead of being in our early twenties and fresh out of college, my boy and I were in high school. He lived with his parents, and it was after school and we were hanging out at their house. Being young and horny, we went off in search of a little privacy, and found ourselves in the basement of the house. Though I never saw his mother and his father was a shadowy figure, I guess it was safer to boink furiously there than in a more obvious place, like a bedroom.

We never get down to business, however (unfortunate, because my boyfriend bore a striking resemblance to Josh Hartnett, and that would have been a wonderful memory to wake up to...), because after our eyes adjust to the blackness, I notice something strange hanging near the stairs. It is a bicycle hanging from hooks, but the bicycle has a rider--the dried-out corpse of his father's best friend who, come to think of it, I hadn't seen around in a while.

Strangely enough, neither of us freak out about this, I ask, "Is that what I think it is." "Sure looks like it to me." Come to think of it, I hadn't seen his mother around in a while either. I asked my boyfriend about it, and he had no idea where she was, and his father hadn't said anything. We slowly look around, and find another corpse, his mother's, dried out not decomposed and it was obvious that someone had been accessing the brain. My boyfriend's dad was a zombie.

The discovery led me to run fleeing from the house. I had to break up with him, I couldn't hang around in the same house as a zombie. What if he ground up other people's brains in the hamburger meat when he barbequed? What if I was his next victim? Then again, if I write this letter and break his heart, his dad might come after me for hurting his son. The debate on the proper wording of the letter was when my alarm clock sounded. Apparently, it's really hard to break up with the son of a zombie.