So you've heard about these "cool rave parties." That cool girl in your Calculus class who wears the big pants talks about them, you've seen that story on Dateline where that kid passes out from nitrous. Sounds like fun, you say, so you decide to check this shit out. Good idea.

First, I suggest that you check out what to bring to a rave.

Now, you have to get dressed. Do not break out all of your trendy club gear. You are not going to a club. You are not going out tonight to try to hook up, you are not going out to try to impress someone. You are going out to dance for eight hours. When you think about this, you might realize that those four-inch platforms are not the best idea. The best thing for a girl to wear: a comfortable baggy pair of jeans, sneakers (do not even think about wearing anything else), and the smallest shirt possible (you are not out to hook up, but these things get really hot). The same thing applies for guys except for you have the unfair advantage of being able to take your shirt off. :)

Typically, the first reaction to trying to dance to techno is, "how do I dance to this stuff?" Well, first some ground rules: no humping your boyfriend on the dance floor. (I cannot stress this enough, You are not at a club!) And basically, that's it. You hear the beat? (How can you not, it's vibrating the floor underneath you!) Any way you move, as long as it corresponds with the beat is okay. Don't worry about looking stupid, nobody cares. Just have fun.

You will most likely be approached by people who you've never met before who will try to talk to you. This is not strange, these people are very nice. You will often be asked the question, "Are you rolling?" which means are you under the influence of 3,4-Methylenedioxy-n-methylamphetamine, or Ecstasy. If you answer yes, you will probably be treated to a light show or a back rub or a blow pop. If you answer no, you will be left alone.

And speaking of drugs, if you do choose to imbibe, drugs do not give you an excuse to act like an idiot. I know you feel good, but think twice before jumping into that roll pile in the corner that's already ten people strong.

Speaking of drugs, a lot of times buying XTC will get you a big dose of DXM.

Water is absolutely essential.

These places get crowded sometimes, and you will run into people. It is a common practice, if you bump into someone, acknowledge that person. A touch on the arm is all that needs to be done, then you can be on your merry way again. It's just friendly.

On a related note: I know, you've just discovered your awesome dance moves, but you have to constrain your body to the space available at the time. Not many people enjoy getting repeatedly ran into by sweaty newbie ravers who refuse to acknowledge that you're even there.

Come with a good attitude and no inhibitions, and you'll have a good time.