it's so good, being home. i've spent the past two weeks wacked out on surreality in california. here, back, everything is chaos and i've got lots to be angry and angsty about, but i know where i am. i remember who i am and what my options are and i have ways of effecting my life. i am not trapped in someone else's home in a big city i understand in only the vaguest sense. i am phone calls and car trips and bus rides from everything i need for the new task of getting my shit together. for real this time.

my computer is heaven. after an imac with aol, it's like the luxury bathrooms from snow crash after junkie bar restrooms with bloody condoms in the corners. connection like forest fire. screen resolution like lying on your back in montana. applications like a tenured mechanic's garage. input device precise as jewelers' pliers. sweetie, i love you. let's never be apart again.

the horrendously scheduled work meeting (read: midnight last night, the second i got back from the airport) is over and succeeded. my employees have their schedules and i have enough hours, finally, that if i can't stave off poverty for the next three months i deserve to be sent to a hell of doped up housewives with absent breadwinners and a poker deck of maxed out credit cards per capita. the super-fabulous internship starts next week. my roommates are brave and wonderful girls and we all survived spring break.

one last thing: barker's philosophy of mathematics is the best academic book i've ever had the joy of reading. it's like fucking poetry. i don't care if you hate math - you must at very least read the introduction sometime in your life. all the elegance and mystery of a topic that is so vast and can be perverted to be so dry and incomprehensible in the wrong hands is conveyed within a scant hundred pages of the sparest prose possible. imagine a five-chapter haiku about math. imagine sandra cisneros writing about geometry and the rigors of formal logic. good god.