There are many questions to which I have no answer, such as why the sky is blue, or how many drops of water there are in the ocean. My Mommy told me that there are as many drops of water in the ocean as there are stars in the sky. I do not believe this, but then again, I do not know how many stars there are in the sky. Perhaps she does.
Once, I asked Mommy where babies come from to which she slickly replied that babies came from the love between a mother and father. Still, I can’t see love and I don’t know how it can create something tangible, something thinking. I then asked my Mommy where Hitler came from, since he had clearly not been born of love. She simply laughed and walked away in a stupefied mist. Later, I overheard her relaying the entire scenario to Auntie Mary over the phone and giggling the way she does when I have said something particularly naive. I think Mommy is being naive if she believes that Hitler was born of love. If love spawns evil, then the world is a far more wicked place than I can conceive.
Yesterday, I asked Mommy why it is she never has a concrete answer to any of my questions. I wanted something real, something I could wrap my mind around. I had her backed into a corner; I could see the terror in her eyes. Perhaps now I could divulge some sort of universal truth from her font of knowledge. However, after conferring with her conscience for a few moments, she could only pat my head and pretend that there were no answers, that I must find my own answers. Then she addressed me with her own question.
“Why do you ask these questions when you know the answers will only destroy your innocence? Don’t you enjoy believing that the world can be summed up in a simple sentence? Believing that I have all the answers? I wish I still believed this.” She shrunk back and sheltered her eyes with her drainpipe hands.
As it turns out, Mommy doesn’t have answers, only “principles” and “ideals.” I still want to know, but I’ll humor her and play with my Legos, building and destroying the infrastructure of an entire civilization with the fury of my tiny fists. Tomorrow, I will ask Daddy.