So today I went into this hamburger place that I don't normally go to. The first thing I noticed was how well dressed most of the people in the middle of the dining area were. All 3 piece suits and evening gowns, most of them sipping expensive beverages, but there probably wasn't more than 15 people in the place, even though it had seating for 60. But looking closer I noticed several lesbians, a few monkeys and William Shatner sharing a table off in one corner. I sort of broggled at that for a moment, shook it off and then mosied on up to the counter.

The counter was made of marble, but upon closer examination you could see that it was just hastily installed over a cheap harvest gold laminate countertop, and the marble was already cracking in a few places. The menu board was hanging slightly crooked, revealing the old menu board behind it, all I could see on the old menu board was a soy burger and a Butterfinger McFlurry, but the new menu board was full of expensive sandwiches, some of which had things on them I had never even heard of. The smallest one weighed over a pound.

The kid at the counter must have been almost 30 years old, he had a suit jacket on, but underneath it he was wearing a Brian Eno t-shirt. He welcomed me to the place and asked if he could take my order. I ordered a soy burger and a Butterfinger McFlurry. The kid looked really nervous and told me that they didn't sell those anymore. I caught a quick glimpse of some monstrous thing back in the kitchen before pointing out to the kid that I could still see those items up on the menu board. He told me that the new menu board kept slipping down, that it was a problem they were having.

I finally gave up and ordered a two pound burger with shrimp on top and a side of brie. As I went to sit down I saw the kid arguing with the people back in the kitchen, he finally said he couldn't take it anymore, and threw down his suit jacket and left.

None of the posh people in the dining room actually seemed to be eating anything, all they were doing was sitting around and talking about how great the restaurant was, meanwhile off in the corner I saw one of the lesbians smack William Shatner with a large flat piece of wood, knocking his McFlurry to the ground. I wondered briefly how he managed to get one when I couldn't.

I ate a bit of my food, but I found it to be a little rich for my taste, on my way out the door I noticed that the kid behind the counter had been replaced by another one, this one wearing a proper shirt under his jacket. There were a few maintenance men trying to fix the menu board, but they didn't seem to be having much luck at it.