I recently spend a bunch of time trying to make a friend realize that he was essentially stalking some poor girl who worked at Wal-Mart. I gave him the following advice about persistance (which he proceeded to ignore, last time he got in her line she called for a replacement cashier as soon as she saw him, and he still didn't get the picture, he just thinks that persistance pays off).

Being persistant with a woman outside your social circle does not work, it does not work so much that it isn't even funny. That "He is a nice guy, but not for me" thought they might be thinking now will quickly change into much, much darker thoughts.

Now, being persistant INSIDE your social circle is something different. Tonight I briefly chatted with "M" after church, she actually started the conversation, not me. In the last couple years I have asked her on a dozen dates, she has declined all of them, but none of it was a big deal (I would tend to ask her out whenever I got mad at Sarah, which was fairly often).

You know why it isn't a big deal. Because I have never been creepy about it, I frankly never really CARED to much anyway. "M" is my friend, I can be a bit persistant with her, because we are friends. Every once in a while I'll ask her on a date, and she will honestly decline, and we will go right back to talking about whatever we were talking about. Usually it is in the form of "So, are you going to go out to lunch with me today, or what?" She usually laughs when she says no.

I don't buy her presents, I don't ask people what I should do about her. Heck, most of the time I ignore her altogether. I have the mildest bit of interest in her, maybe sometime she'll gain some in me, maybe not, I really don't care.

That is the sort of situation that persistance might do some good. I don't really have any emotions wasted on that girl, I have a bit of interest, so I give her a BIT of attention. No more.I never expect anything to come of it, and I don't really care.

Also note, that "M" does not dodge my phone calls (which are extremely infrequent, and she WILL call back if left a message), avoid me, or lie to me. If this girl who ISN'T interested isn't dodging my phone calls, then why would a girl who WAS interested dodge them? Doesn't make sense.

Also, realize something, if you catch someone with persistance (which once again can ONLY be done with people you have non-dating regular social contact with), then they will have essentially at some point lowered their standards for you.

Women know and decide about men almost instantly.

And once again, I reiterate, you'll NEVER get a woman outside of a common social group to change her mind on you. Instead her opinion of you will become more negative with each thing you try.

Also, you mentioned that she has a black baby. In my experience most women who date black men (and especially those who have had children by them) tend to have an extremely strong fetish about them, and rarely (if ever) date any white men. That is the source of that saying about "Once you go black...". That is why you see so many "SWF for SBM" personal ads.

And also, I have recognized that I am not really in a situation at the moment to really meet that special person. And thus I have been working on changing my situation, I have gone to a few different churches lately and such, because honestly nothing is gonna happen with any of the ones I already know.