Updated Friday, August 17, 2001 at 01:58:58 UTC

Note: All meal times listed are sketchy at best

I MAY not be at the cabin yet, so this will depend upon the resources of our esteemed host, probably hot dogs or other snack-type fare. Noders en route should be advised to gather sustenance by their own means.

Midnight Snack

Breakfast Extravaganza... OF DOOM!!!
(Begin cooking by 8AM, served by 9AM) Lunch
(prepared in advance immediately after breakfast, served between Noon and 1PM)
Sandwiches! Choices of:
  • Scrambled egg (made at breakfast)
  • Ham
  • Turkey
  • BLT (with bacon made at breakfast)
  • Chips
  • Soda, water or BYOB
Dessert and/or Midnight Snack
Light Breakfast
(prepared at 10AM or upon communal waking from drunkenness)
  • Bagels (from a bag, heated, served with cream cheese, jelly, etc.) OR:
  • Biscuits (baked from frozen canned variety, served with same or sausage)
  • Citrus (if there's any left over from Saturday)
(probably served around 1-2PM)
Sandwiches again! (simple, no?) Choices of: Dinner
Many noders will be gone on their way back home by this point, so it will be left-overs or the local Blue Ridge Parkway eateries for this meal.
This is pretty much "it" as far as menu changes go.
Thanks to everyone who will be helping out with groceries and preparation. YOU ROCK! Allergies and courtesy toward dietary restrictions are being factored in. This is going to be the best gastronomic E2 gathering in recorded history. Until I host one, that is.
Note: Allergy items currently being taken under advisement: mushrooms, tuna, pickles, oranges

Now, back to the original writeup.
...dons his cheap cardboard 3-D spex...

Haaaww! Sweet Jerry Clower on a pig spit!
God rest his soul... he needs to be noded...

Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! You yunguns are havin' a hoedown in the foothills! A Noder-Con in the Bible Belt! Well smack my ass and call me Sally! Where's my coonskin cap and blunderbuss? Why thankee, Jessup!

...regains composure...

Heavens! What came over me? Must have been my redneck past. Where was I? Oh yes...

This will be my first-ever E2 Gathering. UPDATE: Having lost my mind (apparently), I will be attending a party in Boston the weekend prior to the Sparta shindig. This is so all you noders can admire my bruises and stitches after having my guts kicked out by the BAP. Hopefully I will be able to save my severed head from the grill... ANYWAY, as I was saying...

I am on pins and needles! Can't wait, I say.. can't WAIT to meet some of you fine, two-fisted nodin' motherf— um, I mean, fine folks! Yes, I am elated. Now then, to bidness:

I am a Native Son of the South. From as far south as you can get before becoming Northern again. I have some minor reservations about mingling with some of you Yankees from North Carolina, especially since this noderfest is being held so close to the Communist Commonwealth, but I am open-minded and love all free-thinking writers and especially my E2 brothers and sisters. So I will dispense with my hillbilly vernacular and adopt a more civilized interlocution.

My Travel Plans

I currently have tentative plans to drive to Hotlanta and hitch a ride from there with Jethro Bodine. So far as we know, there is room in his Volvo for himself, his copious body hair, and me and my provisions. Maybe there will be room for other noders as well... it's still too early to tell.


Any noders from South Florida or parts regional to Tallahassee are welcome to ride with me up to Atlanta, provided that there is room in the carpool from there to Sparta. If enough interest is expressed in ride sharing prior to the journey, I will modify my travel plans to make a direct route to our destination in my Chevrolet Impala SS touring sedan, which can seat 5 healthy individuals in extreme comfort for the 10-hour journey.

What I'm Bringing

  • My 5'10", 143 lb. frame, complete with fully movable parts
  • An air mattress for said frame to sleep on
  • Several gallons of bottled water, due to the published deep well inadequacies
  • Two or more large ice chests filled with more groceries than a fucking Winn Dixie supply truck
  • A box of genuine Florida Indian River citrus fruit, for snacking
  • One large ice chest filled with Corona for medicinal purposes (hey, I am a Floridian, after all) and a sack of limes
  • Several large containers of OFF! insect repellent, as skeeters love my blood
  • A Lombard PowerBook on the off-chance that there might be time available for online silliness
  • Ample notebooks and ink pens in case analog noding is the only recourse
  • A battery-powered cattle prod to keep Infinite Burn's lusty advances at bay
  • Any other necessary items that come to mind
About the Groceries

I love to cook! YES! I am not ashamed to admit it. As the cabin has full kitchen facilities, I will be preparing most of our meals (with able assistance, of course). Those of you attending who may have special diets or vegetarian needs will be accommodated.

Menu is now at the top! How could you miss it?

Well, that's all the breathtaking commentary I have for now! I am looking forward to the amazing outhouse construction envisioned by WonkoDSane and Jethro Bodine. I have terrible satellite reception in my own outhouse, and I am always looking for advice on how to improve it.

See You There!

...removes his 3-D spex and falls over backwards...