Indian summer is a good time to set one's house in order. The cold winds and rain of recent weeks hint at winter, but we are given a brief reprive to prepare for the real thing.
Of course the fool in me wants to interpret the reprive as a promise; or the abberation for the norm, and to fiddle away these days. Instead, I will make a short list of Indian summer resolutions:
1. I will redouble my efforts at work. Not because I hope to be appreciated, or to recieve any immediate reward; but because I want to feel comfortable there, and I want my work to be mine.
2. In general I will devalue instant gratification. It used to seem like the only thing worth striving for, and I believed in its worth even after it led to addiction, depression, physical and spiritual degradation. Until I can place the quick fix in its proper place, I won't strive for it at all.
3. I will be more verbal about my appreciation for my friends and loved ones, and slower to look for ways that they have acted wrongly with me or others. I will do the same thing internally with my attitude toward myself (as soon as I get done making resolutions).
4. I will not interpret promises where there are none. Until I can tell the difference, I won't even interpret them where they are. This will be especially hard when I feel I have done a service and deserve some form of compensation. It is natural for me to serve, so I will experience service as its own reward.
5. When I find that I am not acting how I feel I should, I will simply look at my behavior, note the positive change I feel should be made, and stop thinking about it. Any more focus than that would lead to a tailspin of self-punishment, and would bring down more people than just myself.