this isn't summer
i just want to sleep a lot. i'm not feeling too well but i absolutely have to go to practice today. i'll grin and bear it and make it through.
with the man in las vegas
, and him saying he'll call me, i feel like i need to stay by the phone
(but i'm not). i'm tempted to tell him not to call so that every minute that passes without a phone call
doesn't feel quite so... lonely
i called the studio and told them i would be taking another three weeks off. i am going to work on some important stuff in the meantime. right now there are things more important than martial arts. right now i don't enjoy it anyway. i don't enjoy much of anything and that is one of the things i am going to be working on.
it's been an exhausting day. but i am calm
. calm. so much calmer than earlier. good friends
and good lovers
. and much needed rationality
on my part.