okay so the doctor never called with the results of the
MRCP he ordered, which he said was very important to get done immediately. why did he bother to say that? he left for vacation this morning without having looked at the
MRI films at all. he also didn't wait for the blood test results. so i talked to a different
gastroenterologist at the same office, and he relayed to me that the
MRI films all showed normal, and my
blood test results also came back normal. i almost started crying. i have such constant
pain and i do not want to live with it anymore. the
attacks of intense pain are scary. and they can't identify a cause for it. the
doctor said that since there was no sign of
stricture or
stones, that he assumed
spasm of the sphinter between the
bile duct and the
duodenum. but he isn't recommending
ERCP. i am a young female, and the risk of
chemical-induced
pancreatitis is too high. all i can see is that i am in immense pain anyway -- if they do the procedure and it works, fabulous. if they do the procedure and induce
pancreatitis, whoop-dee-fucking-doo... i'm already in pain which is having a large effect on my life. so they give me
nitroglycerin to use during acute attacks, and tell me to rely on
vicodin for the constant dull pain.
i have been given a license to become a
junkie again. even having told the doctor about my past issues with opiate abuse, he says that when i am in pain the
vicodin will only ease it and not make me
high. i don't think he understands
addiction very well. but what can i do? plain-jane
tylenol doesn't help at all.
so they're telling me to live with it. i'm telling them i can't. i can't believe that it doesn't concern anyone overmuch that about once every two weeks my
poop turns white. that i get less than five hours of sleep per night,
average because of attacks of intense pain. that this is effecting so many other areas of my life including my
job and my
love life. i fucking
hate this shit.
a message from a retarded corporate sponsor:
Defy Convention!
buy mass-produced sneakers
be different by being like everyone else