couldn't sleep at all last night. before i even tried to go to bed i could hear my intestines rumbling loudly. i was worried about the effects the barium might have on my bowels. a guy i work with mentioned that when he had barium it made him have unexpected and urgent diarrhea. but i was also told it might cause constipation. i didn't know what to expect.

but i was afraid to break wind... i was worried that it might not just be wind, if you know what i mean. i was up all night going from the bed to the toilet. i'd sit on the pot and produce a big long fart, then go back to bed.

the cramping was pretty bad all night. but i never did have any awful surprises. i experienced neither diarrhea or constipation. i just farted all night.

when i started getting ready for work, i had a morning cigarette which seemed to loosen things up a bit and finally i had a bowel movement. not hard, not liquid. but white. white like clay. albino poopies. i've been 'going' more than usual today, but nothing urgent. no cramps since this morning.

more than anyone wanted to know, i'm sure.

but i'm not worried about anyone but my man thinking i'm sexy. and he'll read this and still think i'm the most beautiful woman in the world.

so i'm tired, but in a happy mood regardless. today i will have dinner with my sister (we will have taco salad. today i have accomplished a cubic fuckload of work. today i am a white poopin' superwoman.