Poutine is the most sinful food one can ingest, or inject, for the more serious enthusiast. By definition, poutine consists of French fries, curded cheese, and gravy. Yet, can man not be described as a goop of molecules arranged in a certain way? The spirit of man, as the essence of poutine, is so much more than the sum of its parts.
Poutine done right
The interested chef must select each ingredient with utmost care. The full flavor of a poutine can only be appreciated when Prince Edward Island potatoes are used. Further, the fries must be laced with a crusty envelop of grease. The best way to accomplish this is by using old oil. Simply save the oil used to fry your potatoes for another day. Repeat the process until your oil is disgustingly dark. Baking is heresy.
Cheese curds are distinctively Quebecois, and so can be hard to come by in some locales. If you cannot appropriate some, then cease and desist all poutine-related activities and move on to another project.
A real poutine will be drenched in gravy that is both thick and spicy. The darker and thicker sauces tend to make for the best poutines.
I give up
Dear reader, if you cannot find the time to locate all of these select ingredients, or you fear starting a fire with all that dirty oil, then I invite you to sample the best poutine the world has to offer. As of this writing, the price is $3.25CND for a large aluminum bowl filled with your favorite treat. Here is how to find it:
Get to any metro station on the island of Montreal. Head towards the orange line and get off at the Cote Vertu terminus. Upon getting out, you will be at the intersection of Decarie Boulevard and Cote Vertu. Walk up Decarie on the left side of the road until you come across a tiny little restaurant called Decary Hotdogs. Ask for a poutine. Get a fork from one of the cardboard boxes tucked into the side. Dig in.
This restaurant, if you can call it that, is very much off the tourist path. The touristy "poutine" joints Downtown charge far too much for a mediocre product. If you give Decary Hotdog's poutine a shot, then give me a holler and thank me for the tip.