Sometimes, yes, some days...I miss you...
So, I laid eyes on Him again. He was looking a little ragged, having just gotten off work, and the bartender decided impulsively that my current beau is far better looking. I reminded her that He had wings that night, and within the 24 hours before I saw her again, she'd agreed he was the second most beautiful man I know. Of course, all of the people who've ever been in my life are beautiful for what they've given me in lessons and love, but yes - this one is special.
The last few years of my life have been pretty rough. Ok, really rough. It's no one's fault except perhaps my own - shit just happens and either you can deal with it or not. I didn't do such a good job of it. I instead reached a point where I simply couldn't take it anymore, nor could I figure a way out of it. I was broken down beyond repair and there was nothing to do but kick it all to the curb and start over.
He with the Wings reawoke my sense of the "big picture" and how things work out if we let them. When I saw Him again, I also saw the entire sequence of events since New Year's as a giant tapestry spelling out the course of life, and particularly how it weaves my own. On the night I met him I had only one hope, and that was that someone or something would intervene and give me just one reason to keep living or kill me trying. Something in his energy fed me, and within two days I was on such a high that nothing could bring me down and yes, everyone around me noticed it. I was on fire and I had the shot of courage to take all the crap on full force.
All I wanted was to see him again. I knew not where he lived, nor would I have had the balls to go there if I did, but I knew the area, and with the help of my soul brother, I embarked on a conquest to see 'He with the Wings' one more time, just to thank him for the shot that kept me going. We started going to a pool hall near his residence after work. I didn't see him, but on one night, in that little pool hall so close to the angel, I hugged my brother goodbye so he could persue his own Fate, and I met my own. The rest, they say, is history.
Then, on April 6, I saw Him again. I was just doing my regular Wednesday routine of going to that bar, giggling with that bartender, and chatting with those friends, when He came in. I surprised myself by recognizing him immediately. I sent the bartender over to verify his identity just to be sure. "Yes, that's Him. Scott's so much cuter!" she said. I smiled. "Yes, but remember that He is how I met Scott, in a roundabout way. He is beautiful."
I didn't get a chance to talk to him beyond a small "thank you", but I did get to see him, thank him, and with a short note let him know he is a very, very special part of my world. I hope only now that the karma he created by helping me, however inadvertently, is helping him, too.
Just goes to show how one act with a stranger can make all the difference in the world. Pass on the love.