Today's my friend's birthday. A year ago, I had thought about asking her out, but was scared of being rejected. In this one year since then, I have learned so much about relationships.

One year, one month, and one day ago, I broke up with my first girlfriend. I remember this date for the specific reason that I knew she was cheating on me and, two days later, on Valentine's day, she was kissing the boy who she was cheating on me with.

For a while, I was attracted to this other girl, and she seemed to be attracted to me. We had 3 classes together, and became good friends. She was very nice, smart, and funny: the types of things that I look for in a person. I enjoyed her company, and she enjoyed mine.

Well, her birthday went by, and I still had not asked her out. I thought to myself, "I'll ask her soon, once I know that she'll say yes," because I didn't think I could bare the rejection that could come from her. That day never came, and I went to camp a few months later.

Before going to camp, I went over to her house to say good-bye, and we watched a movie. It was very enjoyable, and I had a good time. I promised that I would write to her from camp, and I did. But only once. For I had found someone at camp who's company I also enjoyed. And, seeing how I had never asked out the person at home, I thought, "What the hell, I'll enjoy this at camp." Camp ends, we say bye to each other, and promise to see each other during the year (how, I had no clue, since we lived hundreds of miles away and neither had a car). I come home, and my old friend is now not as close as we had been when I had left.

Nothing happens between us, and I stayed (and still am) single. As I look back on it, I would have much rather asked her and been rejected than to not have known whether I could have gone out with her. During winter vacation, this started bugging me even more, and I decided that when I got back home, I would ask her if she would have gone out with her.

I ask her, about two weeks later, and she says that she is flattered, but would have preferred to have just stayed friends. I think to myself, "Great, I didn't miss out on anything, and I didn't have to face rejection."

Here I am now, one year, one month, and one day after breaking up with my first girlfriend, and I wonder where I went wrong. Or, did I go wrong. Are these the types of things that are bound to happen every so often, or did I make a wrong decision. Maybe if I had asked her long before, when I was still attracted to her, then she would have said yes. Only she knows.