Last night I found out one of my friends died of alcohol poisoning. I don't know how it happend. Obviously she drank too much. The specifics have yet to make it to me. They might never, we weren't that close. I don't really know any of her other friends that well.

My bet is currently on her doing a little too much cocaine. She probably didn't realize how much she had drank. Blacked out and kept drinking. and this girl could drink. I've seen her start and finish a 40 of steel reserve in less than a half hour.

We met at freshman orientation. We both had the same major, the only two at that paticular session. We had similar musical taste, I thought she was cute, I knew she liked to get fucked up, so did I. It was obvious that we'd spend some time together. Get to know things about each other. She wanted to join the peace corps after graduating, go somewhere in South America, make a difference.

We sat next to each other in our social problems class. We'd talk about things. Plans for the weekend, how we were going to get shitty, probably end up waking up next to someone we didn't know. It was a running conversation, between notes and class days. Like we just picked up where we left off last time and kept going.

I've known people who died before, car accidents, heart-attacks, being old, or just some freak mistake. It was always someone I'd just known from school, or a family member I'd never really talked to. Never my friends, "you can't kill a man who was born to hang" that's what we said. I realize that it happens, but I can't really wrap my head around the concept of someone dying from drinking too much. How much do you actually have to drink to die? I haven't reached it yet. The people I drink with every night haven't reached it yet.

Last night after I found out, I went to a convenience store and bought myself a 40. Drank it with a friend who quit drinking a month ago. Tried to have a good time. I did too. The whole time though I couldn't help but think of Lindsey. How I'd never see her again. How she'd never make it to Guatamala or where ever. How we'd never drink together again.

I wish I was there when it happened. I know I couldn't have helped with anything, I wouldn't have stopped her. I just want to know that she was happy.