The New Yankee Workshop is a television program that is hosted by carpenter extraordinaire Norm Abram. It airs mainly on PBS and HGTV. This is wholely ironic, because it is produced by Morash Associates, Inc. and WGBH Boston. Neither station was stupid enough to bother putting Norm on the air.

Our good friend Norm has a rather large workshop, if you consider almost a thousand square feet large(it’s actually 936 ft2). Normie also has large quantities of electric tools that require lots and lots of power. It is a common misconception that he started the TV show to “teach and inspire people to make beautiful creations out of wood.” In reality, he only started his own TV show so he could sell the episodes on video for twenty dollars a pop to help pay for his electric bills. These videos are profitable because his projects are so hopelessly complex you need to watch it at least a thousand times in order to understand anything about it.

Through some fluke of the calculations, supposedly Norm has guided millions of viewers through the process of furniture making. This exceptionally high number could also be explained by the fact that he has somehow managed to stay on the air for fourteen years (1988-2002).

Post Script: a lovely little person told me that Norm has also infiltrated the United Kingdom. For all you Brits out there, tune into the Discovery Home and Leisure and check him out. Or don't, if you value an hour or so of the prime of your life.