Today, two of the most basic laws of my reality shattered each other in a tragic expulsion of childhood memories and misconceptions. Two little known phenomenons killed each other.

The first of these phenomenons is the fact (or, well, hypothesis I guess, since it has proved to not be true) that nothing will write on black pants. My elementary school uniform consisted of a rather ugly green and yellow plaid wool skirt that itched rather badly during the warm months, and from the second full week in November through to spring break (in mid-March), we were allowed to wear black slacks. I spent most of my time writing on these pants, because nothing would show up. Mostly with pens and pencils, occasionally a marker or a coloured pencil or even a crayon once or twice. It was all simply foolish child boredom. Then I hit middle school. And I decided that having subliminal messages in black on these black pants would screw with the nuns heads. (scenerio: a sister of mercy sees something like “666” on someone’s pants. Especially on a trouble maker’s pants. You can’t very well accuse them of putting it there, because then they just deny that they can see it. And then you are guilty of telling some poor middle schooler that they are the devil. This whole concept humoured me). The desire to make nuns think they were crazy started my quest to find things that would write on pants. I tried markers, washable and otherwise, coloured pencils of various colours, chalk of various colours, not even sharpie would mark black pants.

The second is the idea that my favourite brand of highlighter could not explode. Everyone I knew had problems with highlighters that were exploding, leaving large neon stains on books, clothing, and backpacks alike. Until today, I would have whole heartedly recommended a certain brand of highlighter that I now refuse to mention. This brand had never given me a problem, I had never once had an issue with a highlight exploding, or even so much as leaking a little.

Today, as you might have already suspected, I discovered the one thing that will write on black pants. Pink highlighter. Not only does pink highlighter write on black pants, but it writes WELL on black pants. My favourite pair of pants (which were, actually, my old uniform pants), nice and worn in, now have a large neon pink spot on the bottom where my pink highlighter—you guessed it—exploded all over the place. But mostly just on my pants.