I have never done a daylog before. I try to concentrate on factual nodes, although sometimes I lose my concentration. Why should anyone care what I did today, how I felt, or anything like that?
Almost a year ago, I went to an E2 gathering. For the first number of hours, I do what I always do when around people I don't know that well. I lurked. Then, thanks to lots of people---too many to name here---I started talking. And, well, I had fun. I was happy, truly happy. If I could have stayed there forever, I would have. . . Everything is made of people!
Then I began my last year of university in August 2001. The stress started to get to me. I could barely afford to pay rent, let alone eat. I dropped a third of my classes that semester, and failed another third. I started doing drugs on a regular basis to relieve the stress. This did not help me afford rent. I was, in short, burned out
The worst thing about the past year has been my noder's block. It has the same source as all my other troubles: when I have too much to do, the stress keeps me from doing anything. Sure, I had lots of ideas, but they would take hours to properly research and write. Hours I could be procrastinating.
I took the path of least resistance. I wanted to improve the nodegel, but couldn't bring myself to expand it. So I started throwing out my chaff. I've had something like thirty
or forty of my writeups deleted over the past year, mostly by my request. I dropped from level 5 to level 4. I don't mind, though. I think that, by having my old bad nodes nuked, I have made E2 a better place.
Having talked with some noders, I have discovered that people like my nodes. Even though they're just scripts, Gritchka's and Rancid_Pickle's homenodes gave me a fuzzy feeling.
While editing is one of the most important parts of good writing. . . so is writing.
So here's the deal. . . I graduate in May. Then I have a job, a real job, a 40-to-80-hours-a-week don't-have-to-think-about-it-when-I'm-not-there job. One that won't be anywhere near as stressful as my current situation of school plus two part-time-jobs that don't provide enough hours. I will have time. So, come May, expect me to node a lot more than I have been recently.
Just to make sure, I am making a vow today. By HOT DAMN 2, which is in the beginning of July, I will have 300 nodes under my belt. 300 good, quality nodes---no noding for numbers. Even if I don't write any more nodes until I am out of school, that's only a node a day. I think I can handle that.
If you care, and if it's after April when you read this, bug me about it. Give me ideas. Nuke my bad nodes so I will have more to do. And, if you're in Columbus in early July, I might just give you a hug.