I didn't really have a direct plan to ring in the new year. All I really knew was I wanted to get drunk, find some nice female companionship and not get into trouble.


My friend Mark and I went to a bar in the downtown area. We started off with a jar of beer each - an absurdly oversized draw glass that holds 32 ounces. We watched the end of the Independance Bowl on TV and talked with some of the regulars. We were about ready to head across the street to the local nightclub when the bartender gave me a free jar of beer. Great. I poured half of it in his glass and we slammed it and quickly headed across the street.


It cost a crummy $10 to get in. We immediatly greeted everyone we knew and ordered a couple more beers. I drank alot of cheap champaign at $2 a pop. We eventually rang in the new year somewhere on the dance floor. I probably looked rediculous with a suit and sunglasses on together but what the hell I figured. I immediatly started scoping out the place for the females but I was having no luck. Only couples around, damn. Apparently my friend had a better time because I never saw him again that night. Whenever one of us leaves without saying goodbye is due to finding a woman.


I walked down to another bar up the street and found my brother, he is in town for the holidays. He was with a female I had never met before. We then went to an after hours party up the street. By this time the room was spinning. Most of the women were a little bit older then I, but there were plenty to be found. My plan was to find one and head a few blocks over were 2 other parties were. Simple enough. After the keg was gone I noticed most of the dudes were leaving, now this was getting odd, I suddenly noticed that for once, there were plenty of drunk, horny women around and hardly any guys! Most of the guys weren't really ideal specimens I assumed. I don't want to come off as conceded or egotistical, but I consider myself fairly attractive.

Sometime, too drunk to know what exactly it is

I had been talking to this guy for about a half hour about this and that, we were waiting in line for the restroom at the time (I was next), when 2 guys left, and I immediatly noticed the stench. Freebased cocaine smells exactly like shit and burnt hair. The guy behind me noticed it too and started asking them for some. Later on at the party the guy looked so familiar but I couldn't place it anyway. Eventually, I introduced myself and to my astonishment he was a former bass player for an extremely succesfull classic rock band. My God, I thought, a fucking dream come true - just he and I, puttin the mack down on the chics. I introduced him to every attractive girl that walked by and just for kicks, he said I was his agent, from there the quest for female companionship was near completion. I decided to go for the hottest single one and started kissing her.

Sometime really, really later after that, too drunk to know ...

This part of the night is really hazy. I remember walking with some other girl to her apartment nearby and hanging out. We drank and eventually had sex. I remember her saying I had to leave afterwards so I staggered back to the party again to see what was going on. Most people had left but there was still a handful of people around. I remember it being colder then shit outside and I lived 2 miles away, not a nice walk. My bro was long gone, and don't remember when he left. I figured it was way late and it wouldn't be worth the gamble to walk a few blocks away and hope my friends are still partying, so I borrowed someone's cell phone and called a taxi.

When I got home I remembered breaking some of the dishes and knocking some shit around, for why I don't know. The clock said 6am. Christ. A friend from out of town who was staying over walked in with a Sega Dreamcast and a Sony Playstation with games for each, he apparently won it in a bet. Everyone was talking about the wild times they had (even my out of town friend got laid and he is a very repulsive looking man).

It's not every night I go out I end up on strange adventures like this one, but I had an extremely great time. As I laid on my bed, counting the revolutions of the ceiling spin round and round, I remembered thinking that I couldn't wait for New Years Eve of next year.