Aside from car dealerships, furniture stores are the businesses with the most local flair, especially in advertising. Below is a list of some of the more common purveyors of furniture in the greater Boston area. Note that these are the more commonly known stores, and not mom-and-pop places, though those can certainly be very good places to go. There is also a slight discussion, if applicable, of a store's advertising techniques. Some stores are more nationally known and are mentioned if they have a large presence in the area. Shockingly, Boston still has no IKEA.

High End Stores

High end furniture stores are the more expensive places to go. These are usually the sites for the wealthy or upper middle class.

Mid-High Stores

Ah, now we're moving down. We're starting to hit the stores with the most commercials. A general rule is that the cheaper the store, the more annoying the advertisement.

The Mid Range

Now we're in the thick of it. More annoying ads. NASCAR bumper stickers in the parking lot. Yikes.

Mid-Low Stores

There is a big diversity in mid-low stores, though the commercials definitely become more irritating, when they happen.

  • Bernie and Phyl's Furniture Discount: "Quality, Comfort, and Price.....that's nice." Who has grown up in eastern Massachusetts and not had that ring resoundly though their cranium at least once a day? Bernie and Phyl are the irritating grand-uncle and -aunt of the home furnishings market. They've been around for a long, long time, and are well known for their Boston-heavy accents. Their ads are exquisite, with lines like "I had a nightmeah Doctah Phyl, everyone was telling me 'No!'" "That's because they hahven't seen ouah new fuhniture selection, Behnie. We'll just have to tell them about it..." Or something like that. Ugh. The furniture isn't that great either, though the stores are well-maintained, that is, swept occasionally.
  • Dean's Home Furniture: What can be said about Dean that hasn't already been said? The store itself has so-so furniture, though nothing great. Dean himself appears every so often in commercials, with his annoying catchphrase, "I doubt it", said after asking a question such as "Can you find a better deal than this?" or something to that effect. Dean always says this though clenched teeth while shaking his head slightly. As he looks like a soldier in the local LCN, this appears more frightening than motivational.
  • Urban Outfitters: The old standby. No advertising. Just a place for students and cheap bastards to buy a chair or two.
  • Target, Wal-Mart, et al.: Not much to say here, except that Wal-Mart sucks. Objectively speaking, of course.

Low End

Yes. Finally. The bottom of the barrel. The only place down from here is picking up discarded stuff off the street.

Update: Well, it seems that as of last night (February 24, 2004), Dean's Home Furniture is no longer with us, having filed for Chapter 11. Be strong, Dean, I'll meet you at the crossroads.