am in between houses, homes
, rooms and roomates
. Sitting here
in the old house
, at the computer
, which is one of the only activities still left here to play with
. The hangings are off the wall, making the once bright and cheery
boundary seen above the cave
of the screen a blank white-wash of colorless necessity
. You could use that sentence to describe how a heart feels when it is broken
I suppose that is part of what I am feeling, as always a bit broken hearted. Likewise I also feel excited, relieved to be ridding myself of the dirty, loud roomates and never-clean kitchen; our rad tri-plex located in a really bad part of town. Heh.
At the same time, I am somewhat sad to be leaving this ancient place. It is an old house, a very neat one with plenty of space and doorways. My roommates are fantastic people in their own rite--I know of no one else that can keep a straight face and sober voice when asking questions like, "If I hang up and call back after the 10 minutes are up will you still guarantee it at that price? WHAT do you mean you don't know?!?!?" over the phone to snooty operators trying to sell him jewlery or cutlery sets.
I am happy to be going back to a place that feels like home...another part of my city, where the houses are even older and the air is dirtier. An area more conducive to headaches and late nights, but also the strung-out insanely fabulous creativity that comes only from those things. The return to "Coffee Eyes".
Of the the things I will miss about the old house:
My roomates, my big room, that one early morning when I woke up Adam saying loudly while still mostly asleep, "It's so pretty in here! The sun has made everything so pretty!"...My roommates being afraid of my food (oh yes, hummus is frightening to unbelievers)...living within 2 minutes of one of my new best friends. So many new beginnings here...The summer. I think this will always be my summer house, with all it's wide windows and sunny rooms, even filthy dirty still, they will remain better than I can hope for in the new apartment.
I will regret leaving the memories I have of this place, things that happened here. But I carry those with me, so there's nothing really to miss.