What could possibly compel someone to wear handcuffs as jewelry? Simple: a significant other and a weird sense of style.

Sex, right? I wish.

Depression. She pushed everyone away, sometimes physically, when she got depressed. I'll never understand why anyone would leave her alone in that state, considering her well-hidden desire to live.

I promised that I'd stay with her whenever she was like that; I'd never let her scare me away. If I needed to, I'd handcuff myself to her.

Luckily, I had asked for a pair of real handcuffs as a little kid. One of my uncles sells police gear, so there weren't any problems with procurement. They had been hibernating in a drawer, unused, until now.

Now I proudly wore them, both cuffs on my left wrist, as proof of my claim. I eventually started wearing them in public. That's when the questions started.

"Dude! Can I see those?"

No. You'll cuff somebody or me (I'm a thin, defenseless geek), and I'll be blamed.

Some of the eerier requests came from teachers. I was attracting so much attention that they would broach the subject in the middle of a lecture.

"Are those real?"

I would show them the serial number, mechanism, etc. until they were satisfied.

One teacher asked me to handcuff her. I hope that doesn't say something about the faculty of my local highschool.

"Why are you wearing those?"

Kinky bondage sex.

At that point, the class would dissolve into a state of total abandon. I must have disrupted plenty of lesson plans that first week. I hadn't originally worn them for attention, but I certainly didn't mind.

Unfortunately, handcuffs aren't the most comfortable pieces of jewelry. Care should be taken to lock them properly; I always made sure to toggle the notches in them to prevent further tightening. Noticeable weight, light bruising and scraping can be annoying, but I grew accustomed quickly.

Of course, you could always use them for mundane reasons, but where's the fun in that?