Ever notice how old people all have something in common, (besides the fact that they're all old, smart ass)? They all have their own set of names. Why is this? Changing times? I think not. I believe these names are the true secret to longevity.

I mean, think about it: how many old guys to do you know named Brian? Or how about Chris? No! Most are something like Oliver or Edwin or even Lucky. And as for the ladies, how many people do you know whose grandma's name is Lisa? Or Kate? Every old lady I know is named Birtha or Thelma or Ethel.

Do you think all these goofily named people all have lived long healthy lives purely by coincidence? Surely not. Their names alone have carried them through years, and will for years to come. Perhaps all expectant parents should reconsider when naming their children. Sure, your son will be known as "Rufus the Doofus" in school, but you and he can rest assured that he will out last all his peers simply because his parents made a good decision early on.

Knowledge is power my friends. Use what we know now to help your kids' future!