I think this is my new credo. A short, sassy and to the point disclaimer that just smacks of the Aughties. I reserve the right to bludgeon you with careless and fanatical abandon until I begin to choke on the tidal crest of foam pouring liberally from my twisted mouth.

I also reserve the right to be so utterly, completely and irrevocably fucking annoyed with your very existence that I may, with clear conscience, resort to cannibalism for a short, yet sufficient enough time to consume the entirety of your corpse including the bones. It is my right to not only remove you entirely from existence, but to also personally turn you into what I always suspected you to be anyway;


I really think this is the direction that humanity is going here. I see a lucrative opportunity to market this in the tee shirt, bumper sticker and pin industries.
It is a beautiful world when I have rights such as these -- only in America baby.