Where I live we have a lot of
panhandlers with
very short memories.
I say no.
A lot.
After a while, these people, who are as
unobservant as they are
odorous, get on my nerves.
I don't have money to
spare.
I quit smoking.
I have nothing to
give.
I am
poor.
I
dress poor.
They don't seem to see my
financial situation as a factor in the "what can you give me?"
game.
We also have a lot of
shit heads with something to
prove.
I have no interest in
brawling on street corners any more. I have a few
tips for solving all of these
problems and getting people to leave you
alone so you my go about your daily business
unmolested.
- Don't look at people. This draws attention to yourself. If you would like to not draw a certain persons attentions, simply do not look at them. When they are on-comming traffic, look beyond them. When men look other men in the eyes, it invites confrontation, as when women do it, it invites conversation. I am not sure which one is worse sometimes.
- Wear headphones. A person who quite obviously cannot hear will walk unaccosted. To spare change off them, you would have to scream at them. This would make you look like more of an idiot than you already are, as well as, in all likelihood, fail to draw their attentions. If you succeed then they must remove their headphones, all so you can ask them for something. The intelligent panhandler knows when the odds are against them. In combination with #1, they will also not be able to motion to you, thus they do not feel ill of you and you may happily ignore them. This also gets men out of confrontation, as what generally begins sidewalk scuffles is a casually thrown insult. You cannot open up "fighting negotiations" when your would-be opponent cannot hear you. Granted, a person could assault you simply by hitting you first and speaking to you while you are on the ground but this is, by any standard, cowardly and even below the common juvenile thug. The only exception to this would be a mugging or rape as these require no formal opening conversation.
- Wear the "Don't you dare fuck with me today..." face. I wear it all day. I wear it in the cafe I hang out at. I wear it around pretty girls. I activly loathe most people, I don't really care to have anyone come and start idle chit-chat with me when the landslide odds are that they are going to be boring, annoying or fucking stupid. Sorry, I shall have to write a node "Ways for smart people to signal to other smart people". until it becomes the status quo, I shall continue to have few friends.
- Don't carry things the "clink" in your pockets.Keys, change, ammunition... *cackle*
- When in doubt, turn and glare. If they just won't back up, glare at them like you are nothing more than a pretty package, weak at the seams and unstable. Look as if your sole purpose on this earth is to act as a physical container for Satan himself until some moron pisses you off enough to explode; thus acting as a catylist for the chain of events that begins the irreversible count down to armageddon. Learn to smolder in an unstable fashion, it's very useful.
- Carry an asp or machette strapped to your belt. For the extremely paranoid. I don't bother, but it does work. It also gets you hassled by the police.
That is all. If I think of any other
useful gems I will be sure to add them.