(Lights down on BACKSTAGE, up on the BAR.)

SAWYER: Alright, alright, you’ll like this one.

BARISTA: Why am I suddenly afraid?

SAWYER: What did the Mexican firefighter name his children?

(The BARISTA freezes. Pause.)

TAYLOR: What are you doing?

BARISTA: (Through clenched teeth.) If you don’t … move, they … can’t … see you!

TAYLOR: Hey, Sawyer.


TAYLOR: What did the Mexican firefighter name his children?

SAWYER: José and hose B!

(BARISTA slowly takes the stunt glass, wipes it off, dramatically shoves it in SAWYER's face before spiking it at the ground.)

BARISTA: I think I got this across before, but let me reiterate. I. Hate. You.

JORDAN: (Very overactive.) Well, I love you. I love you. What is this magic juice? I’ve never been this alive! This pure!

BARISTA: You want to know what that is?


BARISTA: Really really?

JORDAN: Yes! Yes!

BARISTA: How badly?

JORDAN: Really badly!

BARISTA: Decaf. (JORDAN deflates like a balloon.) Closing time is in 15. You actually going to leave tonight?

TAYLOR: Aye-aye, cap’n.

SAWYER: Can we get classy glasses?

BARISTA: Just for your stupid tradition?

SAWYER: Just for our stupid tradition.

BARISTA: Will I ever see them again?


BARISTA: I’ll grab you some. (Does so.)

TAYLOR: Well, see you next week, then.

BARISTA: Oh joy.

(The PATRONS stagger off, and the BARISTA smiles, mostly because they're coming back.)

Previous | Scene Directory | Next