I had a boyfriend once. It was neat. It was new. He pulled me close in
my hall and gave me the kiss had been wanting so badly. We had been growing
closer and closer, talks that lasted all day, wanting to be close and not
seperate at the end.
Later that week he came over and we fooled around on my couch.
I was happy, and nervous, but it was awkward. I had never
been with a boy before, never touched a penis like that, never tasted a
man before.
The week after that passed and we saw each other online. I would message
and say hi and he would talk for a bit. I tried to find real things to talk
about but he would only do that in real life. We had another night
together but again he left without spending the night. As the days went
by I would notice him online and realize he never messaged me. I began
to wonder. There was an unease in him both times we were together sexually.
Something that left me with nagging doubts. When I talked to
him he was all happy to see me but he would never initiate conversations.
I time between visits grew but he was often to be found just down the road
with hamster bong and herbman. I stopped messaging him,
hoping he would care enough to notice. But, he didn't.
Time continued to pay in it's own inevitable way, and conversations
with a wonderful girl became more flirty, and then I met her
in person and had my heart swept away.
I messaged him. "so babe, like, this whole you me thing... kinda
just petered out didn't it."
"Crap. I don't think so..."
He was so sweet and I think I honestly could have fallen
in love with him so I gave him a second chance after
he apologized for being a shit and not giving me any attention,
not even reading my nodes.
With fingers crossed I set him back into the world hoping this time he
would come back to me. That was two weeks ago. Today I found out from a
friend that he was in a car accident last night with his lover,
who is still in the hospital.
He has been online all day today but never said a word to me.
So today I officially say goodbye jared. This relationship ended a
while ago... but a little piece of me still held out hope. Yesterday I saw
someone who looked just like you from behind and my
heart skipped a beat. I think it would today too.
I hope we find each other as friends again, because I would hate to
lose you from my life.