My friends, I am a damn fool.

Friday

I had been out with some friends. Some of their friends were there too, many of whom I hadn't met before. One of those was a delightful young lady, who it transpired was even a little geeky (the web developer sort), and pretty flirty. I'd heard of her before - an online friend of mine went to high school with her and still has a bit of a thing for her.

The evening continued with a pub crawl, we went to a club and left it because it was pretty empty, and eventually headed back to someone's flat.

Being a student flat, there was much weed being smoked. I tried a joint for the first time, not an unpleasant experience really.

After a little while, the girl was showing me stupid tricks with her eyes, or trying to see how stoned I was, or something. In any case, she was staring into my eyes, her face about an inch or two away from mine. She'd been flirting with me for most of the evening, I'm sure of it. And I did nothing.

And I am majorly pissed off at myself for this, and vowed not to do this again.

Saturday
The evening comes around, and a party at the same guy's flat. The same girl will be there. I'm gonna make a move, i told myself.

The night goes on, and she's a little stoned, lying on a bed, and I'm sitting next to her. She shows me the pendant on her necklace, it's pretty. A near perfect chance for me again, and we have this exchange..
You know how I'm always full of stupid questions?
yeah
Are you expecting me to make a move on you just now?
no
Would you complain if I did?
nope
Well, uhh..

And I don't. I'm too chicken. I'm an idiot. What the hell came over me?

I've called a friend to try and get her number, he didn't have it but gave me the number of someone who does. His mobile was off at the time, but I did leave a message, and I'm hoping he's kind enough to get back to me so that I can see the girl sometime again soon.

And next time I won't be chicken.

if i am, you can shoot me