Compiled from various sources, the number of free
hours available on an AOL
CD over the 90s:
: 5 hours
: 10 hours
: 30 hours
: 80 hours
: 200 hours
: 400 hours
: 540 hours
: 1000 hours (thanks, pylon)
This can be roughly modeled by
H(t) = 4.8*2.2^t
Where H(t) is the number of hours on an AOL CD at year t (with 1995 = t0).
Now! The average human lifespan is 76 years. Let's assume it won't change too much.
The population of the U.S. grows at a rate of roughly 0.89 percent. Thus, the population can be expressed as
P(t) = Pop95 * e^(.0089t)
Where Pop95 is the population of the U.S. in 1995, approximated at 262,800,000.
P(t) = 262,800,000 * e^(.0089t).
If the average lifespan is 76 years (give or take), the average life contains 76*365*24 = 665,760 hours. The average person is 38 years old, so we can divide it by two; the average number of hours anyone has left to live is 332,880.
So, the total number of hours which the U.S.'s population has left to live at time t is:
M(t) = 332,880 * 262,800,000 * e^(.0089t) = 87,459,840,000,000 * e^(.0089t)
Now, let's assume that there are roughly 60 AOL CDs behind the counter of every movie theater in America. This is a rather conservative estimate. America has just under 8,000 movie theaters. Thus, the number of free hours in America at time t is:
HF(t) = 8,000 * 60 * H(t) = 2304000*2.2^t
Some simple calculations later...
On May 21, 2017, at 6:59 AM, there will be as many free AOL hours in America as there are hours left to live in America. The average AOL CD will contain about 222,378,110 free hours (although the corporation will round it to an even 222 million free hours), and America's population will have reached 320.7 million. Assuming AOL/Time-Warner hasn't gone bankrupt already, they will at this instant, as long as everyone on Earth signs up at the same time.
The moral? Give this writeup to your friends, and join the mass action against the tyrant!