- Setting:
- Catholic High School, Freshman English class.
- Cast:
- Miss P. (the first year teacher)
Assorted students
- Miss P.
- Ok, everyone has done their assigned reading? The opening scene of Romeo and Juliet?
- Class
- (in unison)
Yes Miss P.
- Miss P.
- Did anyone find anything... 'odd' in there?
(confused looks from the students)
(sigh)
Ok. Class, to properly read Shakespeare, you have to be aware of more than just the words and the meter... Shakespeare was writing as a form of entertainment, and while many of us don't quite get catch the same puns, they are certainly there. Shakespeare was often writing for the most common of the people and would often toss vulgar jokes into his plays to make certain they were enjoying themse... the play.
Casey, would you read the part of Sampson, and Will, would you read Gregory starting from "That shows thee a weak salve"?
- Will (Gregory)
-
That shows the a week salve; for the weakest goes
to the wall.
- Casey (Sampson)
- True; and therfore women being the weaker vessels,
are ever thrust to the wall; therefor I will push
Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids
to the wall
- Miss P.
- Hold right there for a moment
(check outside the hallway)
Casey, I noticed you emphasized 'thrust' - why?
- Casey
- It just sounded like the right thing to do.
- Miss P.
- Indeed it was. However, note the difference in word choice, push
from the wall, thrust to the wall. Chances are, the actor would...
ahem... grab his crotch then.
(Class breaks out in giggles)
Yes, we are talking about crude jokes here. Continue.
- Will (Gregory)
- The quarrel is between our masters and their men
- Casey (Sampson)
- 'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I
have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the
maids, and cut off their heads.
- Will (Gregory)
- The heads of the maids?
- Casey (Sampson)
- Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
take it in what sense thou wilt.
- Miss P.
- Hold for a bit again... Does anyone know what they were talking
about there?
(class is silent)
(sigh)
(check outside the hall again)
When a woman has sex for the first time, it breaks the (softly and
blushing slightly)
hymen which is a thin layer of tissue covering the opening of the
(pause) vagina. This is often called the 'maidenhead'.
(most in the class are blushing and some giggling is heard)
Ok, continue.
- Will (Gregory)
- They must take it in sense that feel it.
(class giggle louder)
- Casey (Sampson)
- Me they will feel while I am able to stand: and
'tis known I'm a pretty piece of flesh.
(class giggling in a near uproar)
- Miss P.
- Ok, that's enough. (looks in the hallway again). I keep worrying that Sister Regina (aside: the principal) will walk in while I am explaining this section. I do hope that last line doesn't need any further explanation.
You can see the purpose of this? This was to make people laugh, enjoy the play... hopefully stick around for the rest of it.
Yes, this really did happen in my freshman English class... while that was several years ago ('87) I still recall that class well. Fortunately no nuns happened down the hall at the time, nor Miss P. was explaining
part of Act 3 Scene 5...
- Juliet
-
Indeed, I never shall be satisfied
With Romeo, till I behold him -- dead --
and the double meaning of 'dead' (see the little death).
I assure you, I doubt there was an English class since that has enjoyed reading Romeo and Juliet as much as ours did.