Not a great sleep. Fell asleep in front of the TV last night watching a show about Sir John Franklin's failed polar expedition. Then read in bed for about an hour. Smelly pillows -- ICK! Woke up a bit early. Did some yoga -- 5 X SSI + 5 X SSII.

Not a bad class today, but let E_ know about my frustrations regarding the activities -- totally not relating to the lecture material at all. Lunch at the Flying Wedge again. Walked for a long time after work, about an hour and a half. Bought a birthday card for V_. Found my way to Choices Market (corner or Richards and Davie) -- wonderful bakery and produce -- got grapes, strawberries, apples, sourdough baguette, and Havarti cheese for dinner.

On the way to the market I got a call from C_. I had called her earlier in the day to see how her interviews for a job that she really wants went. It was a long one-sided talk about her third interview, and she felt really bad about it afterwards. In tears even. Then she told me all the people she had talked to about this: her sister, her best friend L_, a couple of her guy friends... everyone but me, it seems. I'm afraid to learn what this means, but if I were to guess, I would guess that I don't rank on the List of Important People in Her Life™. I'd like to know what caused me to drop off The List, but I'm sure it would take a counselling session to pry that out, and I'm confident that will never happen. (They cost money, y'know, and the last face-to-face communication we had concerned all the money we don't have.)

Finally she gets to the point where she is so excited and learns she has the job. When I tried to congratulate her on it because I know how much she wanted this job (basically a whole new career for her) (both scary and exciting), she snapped, "Quit interrupting me!"

Anyway, I get a couple more words in before she hangs up. I went in to Choices and got my things. Walking home in the drizzle, I try not to think about her or me or money or jobs or any of that in any combination. Unfortunately, of course, it was all I thought of until I fell asleep. I thougth of sending K_ an email. She was the last person I spoke to about us, at her prompting, so at least she's interested. K_ said it's not me, it's C_ -- everyone is on her shit list. But I can't help but feel that I've done something to let her down. I still have to mull this over.

All this screwed me up enough that I didn't write at all. I think Mario Puzo said something like: if your wife messes up your writing, get another wife.

I sure hope it doesn't come to that.

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