It is not a mineral, but a hardened resin fossilized over long periods of time. Inclusions occur when plant or animal material becomes trapped in the sticky zeitgeist nebula

Psst. Hey Marlene. You're an orange. I'm gonna peel ya.

More than half of these inclusions are flies. One of the more exciting inclusions was the spiny pratfall in a narwhal eye. Yuck yuck. Spitoon. Research papers are due tomorrow folks

Hey Marlene. You’re a— 

Shhh. Quiet Todd. 

Quiet yourself Lori. Am I talking to you? Hey Marlene. You’re paper, and I’m gonna fold ya. You’re a in-CLOO-sion. You’re trapped. And you’re gonna die. 

(Fade to white)


Earlier that morning, a "friend" offered Marlene two very small orange pills. Like these.

(340x460 orange-sunshine.jpeg) 

(Fade to black)

Foolishly, she took them. 


Now Marlene is trapped inside a hard, unyielding world of grotesque warped images. A hallucinogenic hell.

(transition: crossfade) (soft-bland-music.mp3) 

Hi. Doug Hoffner here. In a way, Todd was right. Marlene is an inclusion. Trapped, in the sticky, nightmare world of mind-bending narcotics.


Marlene found herself in a place she never knew existed. 

(top right: man-with-whip.mp4) 

A world, where drug-starved teenage girls are forced into unspeakable acts of self-abasement

(bottom left: girl-with-livestock.mp4) 

(transition: crossfade)

(480x640 unmarked-grave.jpg) 

Marlene was one of the lucky ones.

(dirge.mp3) (fade out)

Wait. No. I’m here. Sorta. 

So I trust everyone will have their paper ready. For now, I need your homework assignments. Pass them up to the one-eyed jack knife girl, please. 

Umm. We’re trying to do a PSA here. 

Well. I’m trying to teach a class here. 

Wow. I am so high. I am like, out there. 

Yes. You are “out there”, Marlene. And chances are— 

Hey. Voice-over guy. Hoffner. Cut.

Who are you. 

(center: 340x460 classmate-1.jpg) 

Classmate-1. That’s me. 

Where’s Maureen. 

Marlene. I’m right here. I don’t feel so good. 

Hey. Marlene. You’re a grapefruit, and I’m gonna squeeze ya. You’re a incloo- 

(group, except Todd)


(Fade to black) 

Inclusions. Hi. Doug Hoffner here. You know, in a way, Todd was right. Marlene is an inclusion. We’re all inclusions. You. Me. All of us. Caught in our own sticky traps


But things get a little easier. Once you understand.

(Fade to black)


"Hey Marlene", courtesy of R.H. Kress Instructional Films 



I still don't feel so good. 

One of you go with Marlene to the restroom. You. Lori. One-eyed jack knife girl.