A musical extravaganza by Martin Beauchamp and Jonny McGovern (music by Brer Brian) playing at Grindhouse-A-Go-Go every Friday night in October of 2000 at Surf Reality in Manhattan. Featuring music performed by UFO vs. The Mothership.

The play is set in futuristic world where all dirtiness has been banished from the earth, and where the highest moral standards are rigorously enforced by a crew of uptight schoolmarms (that happen to like to wear black leather). Legend has it that all of the dirtiness has been locked away in what is referred to as "The Dirty Matrix", to one day be freed by a certain chosen one.

In this midst of this, an outcast geek played by Faceboy is having a sexual identity crisis and finds himself longing for dirty stuff. He is joined in his quest by Cocksucko (Jonny McGovern}, a dirty gay athlete with a thing for dirty gay team sports. The last surviving member of the lone Boy Scout troupe which has been seeking to free the Dirty Matrix since its very inception comes to Faceboy, declaring that he is the Chosen One, and that he must go to see the Drag Queen Oracle.

Using Cocksucko's powers of gay-ness and a big dildo, they attempt to fight off the uptight schoolmarms who guard the secret to freeing the dirty matrix, only to find that they have imprisoned Faceboy's would-be girlfriend. The crew is horribly defeated, but not before the girl is released, and she single-handedly manages to press the big red button clearly labeled 'Free the Dirty Matrix'. Dirtiness is returned to the land and all rejoice and ... well ... presumably go fuck a lot.