I didn't intend for this to be a test of my friends.

I have been in a dark, if not joyless mood: dark, quiet and slow. My preoccupation with the work I am doing has made me uninterested in people, and the loneliness that has come has edified my nerves. It has made me feel hard and strong.

There is something coming to fruition here; I feel on the verge of what I need. It's coming from me, and from no other place. It is coming from me, and I need to extract it from all that has begun to lay down in my head, sorting away the worlds I used to know that are leading me slowly to this climax and conclusion. I feel like I'm making something, and the world is only a distraction.

I looked up from myself this morning though. I find no one has called in my absence. I find no one has really come looking. In my new fascination with solitude, I am not sure I care, but I am thinking about coming out soon. My nerves are resteeled. I'm almost reformed. I might be beginning to fathom who I am.

But I think I'll be looking to new people when I do come out. When I do come back to the world. My time of carrying on one-sided conversations is closing.

I'm going to miss you, old friend...

Thanks to this time, I don't need them. I want them, but I don't need. I can afford to look around, and find something right for me.