who should I be madder at?

The people sliding from chronic pain
into addiction
a slippery slope
steeper over time, they try to claw
their way back, eyes wide panicked
or tightly closed, in denial
I only know from the urines
sent out, returning
alcohol, dilaudid, methamphetamines, kratom
not me not me not me they say
someone is trying to poison me
my father gave it to me
I had no idea it was cocaine when I snorted it
it's not true

or the chronic pain physicians
in their ivory tower
confident talk down
they say my county is a hot bed of addiction
THEY gave the program on kratom
THEY have never tested anyone
THEY never even ask
don't ask don't tell
the primary care doctor
lowly rural rare as hen's teeth
the primary care doctor should have picked that up
where they say did you get the morphine dose equivalent for kratom
from YOUR presentation I say
(too bad YOU weren't listening)
tell us why you use telemedicine
tell us (how great we are, how much we help)
I sit silent
thinking that mostly I use telemedicine
to keep my patients out of the clutches of pain specialists
who put them on methadone
and make them worse