...It really can happen.

I woke up one morning from the foggy drunk night before, and went to change... my breasts felt really odd, but I didn't think too much of it until I went to put on my bra and saw that they were completely black and blue. What the HELL? Turns out that when I had hooked up with a guy the night before, he was sucking on them way harder than he should have been, and the alcohol was good at numbing any pain I might have felt. So instead of telling him to stop, I begged for more, and thus had purple eggplants on my chest for the next week.

Not to mention, when bruises heal, you know that funky green color they get....?