outside bleeds through the night, sobbing
its way into eternity outside my window. A city
, oozing with rain, flattens out for miles
around me, the orange-grey skies soaked, a wet woolen blanket
The insides of my thighs are damp with blood
; warm feminine smells, soft familiar pain, an empty yearning for something that I didn't think I wanted. Curtains flutter gently, the world breathes in breathes out in deep expanding sighs. My heart is pained, my insides are broken
, my mind is stained.
"Should have known better than to cheat a friend, the wasted chance that I've been given; so I'm never gonna dance again, the way I danced with you..."
Maybe I really don't know what love
is. It seems that whenever I think I really have
found it, I'm only misleading myself; and the times I think are too comfortable, too domestic
, too quiet and peaceful are always the ones I have to wreck-- the ones that always haunt
me later. Why do I insist on sabotaging the good and holding on to the bad? Will I ever learn...?
"It's raining in Baltimore, baby, but everything else is the same...There's things I remember and things I forget; I miss you, I guess that I should...Three thousand five hundred miles away, but what would you change if you could...?"
Whatever happens will happen... maybe this time, I won't take the nice guys for granted.