I stumbled upon this place looking for the results from a search engine. I was searching for an answer that I already knew but wish I could change. I was searching for a relief from pain and to find a way to have that painless etherial bliss that people get when they get high from alcohol, pot, E,etc..
I am afraid there is no etheral bliss, happy place for me to escape to so I live on a mountain face every day and weather the ripping wind torrents of pain and helplessness as I face my disease and my place in life. I live in the few happy moments that my children bring me and live in their smiles and charmed, blessed existence. Their golden halos of cheer envelope me in small spaces and I breathe deep in those narrow passages.