Almost six weeks. I want to go home

I sit outside of the ladies room on a slab of concrete looking at the Utah sky. I’ve never really seen the milky way before…at least not as the person that I am now. The cherry from my cigarette gives the night sky competition. So does the red butte that looms over the campground.

I need a beer. Beer stops the nightmares and I…I am tired of the nightmares.

So I head for the campsite. There are two people awake when I take my first beer from the cooler. A professor and a female student drinking and conversing with eachother. Mind you, both are older than me. The student is married, the prof is twiced divorced. I sit and listen to them talk. They ask questions and listen to answers. Talk of polar bears and sea lions. Polar bears are not nice. Sea lions are, unless they feel threatened.

The woman stands up and commences to stub her toe on the picnic table. Her cries of pain dissolve the conversation. I take another swig of beer. She asks him to walk her to her tent which is at another campsite. They leave and do not come back. They end up sitting at another table just 50 yards away where I can hear their drifting conversation and laughter.

Do I offend?

They are…

I hope this doesn’t affect my performance in the class.

They really are…

It’s not me, it's them. They want to be ALONE together.

They are polar bears. I am a sea lion.

Looking back, the beer didn’t help at all that evening.