I thank you for taking the time to write the magnificent script which crossed my desk today. All of us here are very excited about it, and think that it could be one of the most successful films which our studio will produce this year. The story was riveting -- we actually couldn't resist gathering in the canteen and doing a rough production of your second act. The characters had a depth that I didn't think possible, particularly not with your minimalist dialogue style. Sherry, my personal assistant, wept quietly when Jack found the rat skeleton. If you were a novelist, you would surely be the Hemingway of our time.

All of that said, we do have a few suggestions for you. Perhaps "suggestions" is the wrong word. What I mean is that a few things are going to have to be done with the script before we look at producing it for a mainstream audience. Doubtless a man of your talents and experience is familiar with the re-write process, so I'll outline what needs doing:

1) We do not believe that the Jack character should be the only love interest for Linda. Monogomous relationships don't sell.
1a) In order to make this workable, I'm afraid that Linda will have to have a more colourful past behind her, rather than being the recluse that you have portrayed.
1b) This, of course, means that the entire "eternal love" theme and the (Very Interesting!) questions which you raised with it will have to be axed.

2) We believe that mainstream audiences will not appreciate a slow-moving film which gently exposes the characters, building them one block at a time.
2a) Terry (one of our staff writers) suggests that you could start the whole thing with Jack and Linda on some sort of talk show, and deal with their pasts in the first 10 minutes of the film (We're thinking a Springer cameo). I think this is a winner, because it leaves us much more time for Linda's additional love interests.
2b) What do you think of giving Jack some sort of highly visual nervous tic, like Tourette's? It'd be much more efficient than the way you've managed to work his neuroses out in dialogue. Again, more time for Linda!

3) You've probably picked up on this already, but we want Linda to be a bit "loose". Jack would still love her, of course, but he wouldn't be the only one.
3a) She also wouldn't love him back. Sorry.
3b) An abusive childhood might have accounted for Linda's fear of commitment. (So write this in, somewhere. Maybe on the talk show?)
3c) There might be room for some comedic development here. (Not with the abuse, but with her fear of commitment.)

4) The ending is inconclusive. It leaves a lot of loose ends -- when I finished reading your script, I wasn't sure if Jack and Linda were even in love. In fact, I don't even think they were sure if that was the case. We have to know one way or the other. People don't like to be left wondering.

5) Linda just isn't very glamorous. It's the oughties. Or the naughties. Or the nulls. Whatever it is, women are glamorous. We're thinking that she should maybe be gorgeous (your description, I believe, was 'homely'), but have her hair in a bun and wear glasses. Then, she could maybe have some sort of make-over (courtesy the Jerry Springer show?), and thereafter be shown as her gorgeous self.

5a) Living listlessly off of the inheritance from your parents' tragic death also isn't glamorous. We think Linda should be an ace pilot, testing experimental planes for the air force.

Please mail me the re-write as soon as you can, as everybody is very excited about running with your fabulous screenplay. There's Oscar talk already, down here at the office.

Sincerely yours,
Owen McKaye
Production Co-Ordinator
Fresh Horizon Cinematic Productions

p.s. Marketing has already come up with a tag-line. Tell me what you think: "She breaks hearts almost as often as she breaks the speed of sound".

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