I was having a pretty good day, I did well at work and dropped by Future Shop
the fancy new Twin Peaks DVD
set. After chatting with my friend at Starbuck's
I went and
caught the bus. Then when I transfered onto the Main bus my day took a stranger turn.
So I get on and sit down across from some cute but older guy and attempt to amuse myself by
(not) making eye contact. I'm listening to my discman so I just kind of hear it at first, then
it gets louder. It's this weird moaning sound, like a child who just got injured. I look around and
see this lady walking down the aisle, freaking out people by stumbling and moaning. She's making mad
hand gestures, obviously angry about something. I figure that she's deaf, it just kinda sounded like
what I've heard of angry deaf people before and her gesturing looked like sign language. She sits down
beside me for a second but moves and sits at the 2nd to last group of seats. She just keeps moaning and
it seemed that she was angry at this one native Indian guy. I recall seeing them on the bus before, signing
to each other. I think. It was strange because she was carrying crutches and stumbling, as if she needed them
but refused to use them. At the start of this little scene, before I figured out what was going on, the guy I
was checking out like smiled. That got to me. It was just so fucking cruel.
She sits in the seat beside some guy and keeps moaning, less loudly. The native guy is farther up in the bus.
More people get off the bus, freaked out by her. There's this kind of attitude that settles over people on the
bus, like she doesn't exist. I'm not innocent, I sit there in discman land, staring out the window across from me
like I always do. People are all purposely turned away from her, ignoring her. The guy who was sitting next to her moved
to beside me. It's surreal, it's like "if I can't see her she doesn't exist". People think she's
just some crazy person I guess. She starts making hand writing gestures
to the girl across from me, and she writes her a note. The girl offers the note to me but I don't take it, because the
lady did not offer it to me. Now I wish I had taken it. I really wish I knew what was going on. So they write back and
forth a little bit. The native guy moves back and says "did she tell you what she did?" or maybe it was "did she tell you
what she did to me?", I'm not sure. The lady moaned a bit louder at him then, I think. He moved back up the bus. After a little bit
longer the lady makes a sort of hopeless gesture to the girl, and the girl says 'i'm sorry' and gets off at her
stop. The girl seemed somewhat amused though, like it wasn't a serious matter. Maybe she just didn't know how to react.
The bus ride continues on and we approach 41st. The native guy moves and sits right near me, and the moaning gets louder
again. She is obviuosly really pissed off at him. She's signing like crazy and he's signing back. She's this writhing little
thing, I think she was probably an addict. Skinny and sketched out and hollow deep eyes and stringy hair. I was trying to
figure out what the native guy was. Maybe he was her dealer? I figured either her dealer or her friend or her pimp.
The lady signs madly at the guy and smashes a crutch on the ground, right near my feet. I'm trapped between them, they're diagonally
facing each other. It gets worse and worse as we get closer to 41st. Some older lady in the front section says something like
"settle down". I think to myself "what the fuck?" Is it not totally obvious that she's deaf? And anyways, does she think that
saying that is going to help at all? It's like she's saying "get out of here, you don't belong in my little universe". I'm reminded
of the book I'm reading, White Noise. People with their own little modern lives where nothing bad or weird could possibly happen.
Again, not that I'm innocent of any of this. Sitting there with my headphones on, new dvd's in my bag.
She gets super angry and stumbles to the front of the bus, and gets off at 41st. She seems to be signalling to the native guy
to not get off at the same stop, but he does after her anyways. As we drive off I see a bus driver standing there talking to both
of them, asking her what the problem is. Fuck! Can he not tell that she's deaf?? I felt really fucking awful, like I should have
gotten off there and tried to help or explain to the bus driver. As my friend just pointed out on the phone there wasn't much I
could have done, but it just felt so cruel to stay on and go back to my life. She was so angry at him. I have this scenario in my
head of the native guy being her pusher or pimp or something and he's going to hurt her. I don't know. I feel bad now. I don't know
what the fuck happened and I feel so sorry for that lady.