I went to check on the litter of tiny baby gerbils today after leaving them be for half a week or so. They are placed in my brother’s room, since they are his gerbils and therefore his responsibility, so I try not to bother his space more than once in a while. There was just one problem… < B>The baby gerbils were missing.

The older baby was there. He was born perhaps 15 days before the others, to the gerbil I call my own (Mustard). The other babies are Victoria’s, but I do not love them any less. Le mouton, Mustard’s only child, was in the cage with Brutus and Buttons, the two males of the bunch. Victoria and Mustard were in a smaller, separate cage. This was unusual. I checked the bedding for the little babies who should have been with their mother, but I could not find them. I then checked the bedding of the male cage, but the babies weren’t there either.

What was I to do? I feared the worst, but knew no facts. So I waited for my brother to get home from school. Upon his arrival, I interrogated the irresponsible bastard as to the whereabouts of the babies. He said Mustard and Victoria had eaten their own children. Naturally, I didn’t believe this. Why would the two mothers decide to eat the babies after taking care of them for a week already? Adam said it was because they were starving, that I should have fed them. I told him that they had been fed, that I put handfuls of food into the cage myself not more than four days ago. Adam said they must have been hungry or something. I suspect he is lying.

So, where are the babies? I have four guesses, and none of them are comforting.

  1. Adam got extremely stoned one night (as usual) with his ever-so-intelligent friends and decided to smash babies for entertainment. It has happened before, although not with gerbils.
  2. The babies were made as a sacrifice to the holy ferret who has recently taken residence in the corner of Adam’s room across from the cages of gerbils and next to the fish tank.
  3. The massive Oscar fish in our family room 100 gallon fish tank was hungry, and Adam thought it would be fun to feed him innocent infants.
  4. The gerbils were flushed down the toilet, as Adam has been saying he will do ever since they were born. Maybe he just worked up the energy to do it today.
Needless to say, I am quite pissed. Killing things is wrong. Killing babies is especially wrong. But I cannot bring them back to life.

The gerbils’ water bottle is missing as well, but that’s not of great importance at this moment.