Sitting on a silent shore, no waves, no people. Just me and an old man without a name. I see the lawnmower coming across the ocean, bigger than life, about to clear the entire county. Suddenly a building appears; run-down, made compltely of metal. We rush towards it, knowing we must make it to the basement before the blade of the lawnmower passed over the land. The old man rolls down the stairs, leaps into the air and kicks open a never-used, rusty door. We run inside and huddle in a corner, the vibrations of the lawnmower passing beneath us. We were in the valley, he said, so it would pass under us.


My brother and I are dressed up for halloween. Hannibal Lector, disguised as a vampire, is the owner of a jewl shop in Vermont. I go inside, and buy a ruby the color of cooked salmon. The vampire man says he must first put it into the wooden box behind the desk, so it can be sent to get fitted. A few moments later, he hands me a mold of his face, made of stoneware, and covered by a plastic bag splattered with blood. He says I will fall in love with him soon.

A short while later, perhaps a week or two, I return to the jewl shop to say there was a flaw in the ruby I purchased. The vampire hands me a painted stoneware mold of his foot and sends me back home.

I am online, when I recieve a message from Lanfear. She asked if I have found my destiny. I said I met the vampire. She says to go look out the window.

I comply, and to my astonishment, there is the vampire, holding a microphone, leading a huge marching band wearing gothic attire. The trombone section is under the direction of Schmoo, and they strive to be the loudest. I climb down from the balcony and they throw burning sticks at me. My brother rushed outside carrying a revolver, and my mom is not far behind, shouldering an antique shotgun. My grandma sends fireballs the size of elephants at the vampire and his band. They leave, promising that my destiny will return.