I am not going tell our story from the beginning or about how I fell in love, because Adam has already told it. I have so many things I'd like to share about Adam Purcell. He was my husband, my best friend and my soulmate. Adam's death has
created a huge hole in me.
I can't help but feel so terribly overwhelmed by his death. The pain of losing Adam and missing him. I still loved him very much. The agony of having to sort
through the remains of our life together. The incredible torture of listening to our daughter cry, and to our son saying "Daddy!!" every time the phone rings. On top of all of that, still feeling like it is my fault and that I should apologize to everyone for failing Adam. Trying to "be strong" for my kids, but just feeling all torn apart inside.
When I came back to work after scattering Adam's ashes, most of the people that I work with didn't know what to say to me and were very uncomfortable being around me. I had a very hard time stopping myself from crying at the stupidest things. I missed Adam and wanted to be close to him. So, I came here, to E2 and started to read what others had written about the person they knew as Hermetic. Then I read all
that Adam had written. At first, I felt like a voyeur, reading his thoughts without his permission as if I had invaded his privacy in a public way. Some of it was
nearly impossible to read. Some of it made me cry. Some of it made me smile. Vividly, I can remember many of things he wrote about in daylogs over nearly the last two years. I shared your words with his family in the hope that they would find comfort in them as I had. Paula, Adam's step-mom, said it more succinctly than I
ever could, thanks from our hearts. E2 has given me something that will allow me to always have Adam's words and thoughts.
Even truer through his death, your words and condolences have further proved that
Everything is a Community. The more I read, the less alone I feel in my pain. Thank you.
Panamaus is right. The what-ifs will drive you crazy. I hope that everyone will take a little bit of comfort in the knowledge that Adam loved you all.