My love for him cuts my heart like a knife. I found my love for him again tonight in my pain. The purity and strength of it hurts so much. I’m vulnerable to his whims. When I hurt him, I am hurt even more. All of his pain is reflected back at me three-fold.

And his love for me? What of it? How strong, how deep, how transient is it?

I can't stand it. I can’t let someone have control over me like this.

He tells me we all grow up and mature with pain. I guess I must be a real big girl now.