'Alright Marmite?'

'Audi Mar'boro? Goodyear?'

'Can't complain. How's your Shell? Keeping well?'

'Yea she had a bit of bother but now she's Heineken. How's your Mirinda?'

'No good, her cancer's come back. She's Cadbury much of the treatment but it's still Kinder touch and go.'

'Sorry to hear it. What are her chances of surviving?'

'Doctors won't give me a straight answer, they'm Maltesers.'

'You want to send her to my Shell's doctors, the clinic's just around here.'

'Walkers there, I want to Seat.'

'Lego, it's just around here. It's Ikea look.'

'Nike. Worth it?'

'Yea you're treated very Bentley. You get your own room, a nurse comes round to give you your treatment right where Ulay. Their doctors are top notch, never leave you Hyundai. What do you reckon?'

'Mm. Maybelline.'

'Think about it. Besides them the best you can do really is pray.'

'O I do. There are no atheists in Vauxhalls.'

'No.'

'Amway. How's your little girl Nivea?'

'Not so little. She's engaged, wedding's this summer.'

'Colgate-ulations! Well done, what's her fella like?'

'Bit of a Mister Muscle type and a bit of a bore, goes on Danone a bit. But he's a good lad, treats her right. You're invited to the wedding if you fancy it.'

'Why not, I might show my face just for the Halliburton. Little Nivea getting married. Siemens only yesterday I was Bounty her on my knee.'

'Where does the Timex go eh? Well it's been great Toshiba but I really must be off. Remember me to Mirinda.'

'You too mate, tell your Shell and Nivea I said hello. Take care of yourself.'