I swear to God one of my cats is trying to seduce me
. She licks down my arm to my hand, down to the tip of my index finger
, which she takes between her little brown otter paws and attempts to deep throat
.   No part of this anecdote is exaggerated for humorous effect. This is disgusting. But I kind of want to yell TAKE IT ALL!
Tonight Albert will be dragging me to that new titty movie with Keanu Reeves as Paul Westerberg. Will report.